February 08, 2008

Thought for the Day

Dear the makers of women's boots,

I don't know how to break this to you, and really it's the sort of thing I'd have thought you'd notice by now, but lots of women have calves. They're these curvy bulges of muscle below the knee, tapering down towards the ankle. They help power locomotion and may be 2-3 times or so the diameter of said ankle.

I've been told that my own are nice enough looking, but I suppose one has to consider the source. It must be granted that the people who volunteered this information seemed to have ulterior motives beyond evaluating the aesthetic properties of my legs. Though looking around, to the extent that I do, they seem in no respect unusual for a female of my species, that group of beings for whom you have taken it upon yourselves to make boots that purport to reach our knees, so that we don't have to freeze all winter when we wear skirts.

I'm not sure if you knew this or not, and I'm taking nothing for granted given the seeming confusion about calves, but skirts are a bit drafty.

The inspiration for this open letter came while I was reading at a neighborhood coffee shop today. Another woman came in dressed professionally and with what appeared to be a business contact in tow, and I noticed her because the partially undone inside zipper on her knee-high boots went right by my line of sight. It was closed only up to where her own calves, also mysteriously wider than her ankles, flared out, though other than that the boots were snug and appeared from all other angles to fit properly to the knee. This woman also seemed perfectly normal, and was even on the slim side of being height-weight proportional.

It reminded me of the many times I've tried on several pairs of boots in succession that fit my feet just fine, but couldn't be zipped up without restricting my circulation. If I can't get blood down there, it hampers the whole locomotion thing, which as I mentioned, calves are very useful for.

On her behalf, and on mine, and every other woman that I've heard complain about this at length -- Will you, for love of Graud and little kittens, make at least a few styles of knee-high boots that don't make normally shaped women feel like freaks of frakking nature when shopping for shoes? I mean, you have *heard* of gussets, right, and know that they can be added to your pleasing-on-the-shelf creations in serried rows? You can maybe get some non-anorexic leg models to try designing for in this exciting, new frontier of legs that aren't shaped like sodding popsicle sticks? I assure you that such models would be easy to find, so, please?

I have great faith in your ability to correct this, considering that you finally managed to figure out that some of us would still like to wear stylish shoes from time to time, in spite of the fact that our unruly toes make pointy fronted pumps an unbearable agony. Keep it up with the sharp, square(er) toed styles, and good job on that.

Anyway, thank you. That is all.

Kissy th' face,

Posted by natasha at February 8, 2008 11:58 AM | Random Mumblings | Technorati links |

I think the problem is rooted in the basic model of the Garment-Fashion Complex.

=> It produces goods for the customer's fantasy self-image, not for the customer per se.

Until another model can be framed up, there are items that could be repurposed as 'boots that fit'; some more expensive than others.

Posted by: Huskarl at February 9, 2008 08:15 AM