May 07, 2005

U.S. calls for Century Do-Over

On so many fronts, our society seems to be refighting the battles from the turn of the *last* century. Just as Karl Rove is enamored of the Mark Hanna era (an era where God's market ruled) and the Radical Right agitates to remove the danger of socialism now by ending American reliance on Social Security, those who have a direct line to God are focused on the 1925 Scopes Trial and this time they've stacked the education board of Kansas so the anti-evolution forces can win the argument this time.

Thank goodness the godless heathens are finally being put in their place. For too long the beliefs of the good, decent Christians have had to accomodate for the "theories" of the atheist scientists. And who knows how low our country would descend as a righteous and God-fearing country if science is not reformed? Once we've rescued the country from the mistaken beliefs of evolution and geology, we can then seek to repeal other perfidious scientific fallicies such as the so-called laws of thermodynamics.

Leading physicists contend that, as the foundation of much of our current scientific understanding, a reversal of the second law of thermodynamics would have massive ramifications on the future of both our nation and the universe itself.

"Were the second law to be repealed, random particles would collect and organize themselves instead of dissipating, which could affect such basic processes as combustion, digestion, evaporation, convection—that sort of thing," Columbia University superstring theorist Dr. Brian Greene said. "There wouldn't be much sunlight, either, because all stars, including our sun, would be collecting photons from surrounding space instead of emitting solar radiation. Oh, and the universe would begin to contract rather than expand, which could possibly turn back the flow of time itself, sending our cosmos spiraling inward toward a reverse Big Bang, a sort of 'Big Crunch,' if you will."

"In light of all this," Greene continued, "I would sincerely hope that our nation's legislators think long and hard before making any decisions to amend or repeal this law."

Despite such warnings, the grassroots movement to eliminate the second law of thermodynamics appears to be gathering strength.

"This is America," said Duane Collins, a Gatlinburg, TN, distillery operator and father of five. "And in this country, we have the God-given right to change laws we don't think are Christian. We are united in our demands that the second law of thermodynamics be repealed, and our voice will be heard no matter what. That's just a plain fact, and nothing anybody says can ever change it."

As one Bush supporter said, "we create our reality", and those of you who are silly enough to believe the scientists are not just another interest group are refusing to understand that the Fundamentalist Christian preachers have revealed the truth and you are in danger of ing yourself to eternal damnation if you don't get with the program. (Actually, you probably already blew it because most likely you are not one of the chosen. Too bad.)

Posted by Mary at May 7, 2005 04:41 PM | Science | Technorati links |

I love that you used Brian Greene for that. It's like saying Stephen Hawking, but subtle.

Posted by: Ben Schiendelman at May 7, 2005 10:04 PM