January 23, 2005

Loathsome People

Thanks to Corrente, we find the Beast's list of the 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2004. As is typical with this list, we're on it:

3. You

Crimes: You gaze idly at the carnage around you, sigh, and go calmly back to your coffee and your People magazine. You canít stop buying useless crap, though youíre drowning in a deepening pool of debt. You think youíre an activist because you bitch all day on the internet, but you reelect the same gangsters at a 99% rate. You consider yourself informed because you waste a significant portion of your life watching the same three news stories cycle over and over again on your gargantuan, aerodynamic television set while you eat processed food. You really thought everything would be okay if Kerry won. Not only do you believe in an invisible man who magically farted out the universe, you also excoriate and marginalize those who disagree. You have a poorer understanding of your countryís foreign policy history than a third world peasant, but you canít wait to see what Julia Roberts will be wearing at the Oscars. You cheer as Ukrainians challenge an election based on exit poll data, but keep waiting around for someone else to fix your problems. You canít think, you canít organize and you wonít act. This is all your fault. ...

Click on over to laugh until it hurts. The lightheartedness fades, but the pain, it lingers.

Posted by natasha at January 23, 2005 01:07 PM | Humor | TrackBack(1) | Technorati links |
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