November 27, 2004

Things Skippy Can't Do

Avedon blogging from the new home of The Sideshow brings us 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The U.S. Army. The Skippy in this case is Specialist Schwarz (2. My proper military title is "Specialist Schwarz" not "Princess Anastasia"), who offers the following explanation for the list:

a) I did myself, and either got in trouble or commended. (I had a Major shake my hand for the piss bottle thing, for instance.)

b) I witnessed another soldier do it. (Like the Sergeant we had, that basically went insane, and crucified some dead mice.)

c) Was spontaneously informed I was not allowed to do. (Like start a porn studio.)

d) Was the result of a clarification of the above. (“What about especially patriotic porn?”)

e) I was just minding my own business, when something happened. (“Schwarz...what is *that*?” said the Sgt, as he pointed to the back of my car? "Um....a rubber sheep...I can explain why that's there....")

If you are not yet urged to go read the list, I bring you this item:

87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

There's a bird flu epidemic on the horizon, our economy is headed for a nose-dive, and domestic policy is reaching new lows. (I hope everyone is wrong about these things, btw.) So laugh while you can. It's good preventive medicine for the soon-to-be stress weakened immune system.

Last two links also courtesy of The Sideshow.

Posted by natasha at November 27, 2004 02:42 AM | Humor | Technorati links |

Skippy should be the nickname of George W Bush for his National Guard skip.

Posted by: TABS at November 27, 2004 06:25 PM